Helen, I Forgive You

Helen, I forgive you
for disappearing that night
as I ran around
all over town
screaming your name
in hospitals and bars
police stations and cheap motels
when all the time
you knew exactly
where you were
and what you were doing

Helen, I forgive you
for fetishizing my philandering
collecting the infidelities
that I thought secret
and allowing them
to simmer to a boil
so you could reciprocate
at the perfect moment
of my weakness
for it to sear the deepest brand
of heartbreak and self-loathing

And I forgive you,
for needing to travel
3000 miles away
from my obsession and control
my protestations
of love, fucking love forever
in order to become
the woman
you were always meant
to be

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